The Joy of Creativity... The Agony of Creative Blocks

Doodle Therapy - Winged Floral Spirit - Patricia Kay

Nothing makes me happier than being in the process of creating.  It calms me, liberates my spirit and gives me a greater sense of purpose than anything else... and it can cause me the most grief when I encounter a creative block.


I started the doodle above a few days ago and loved its shape and flow, but then I got fixated on its imperfect lines and whether it was complete.  Once that discussion in my mind takes hold, things go nowhere.  When I went back to my drawing, the whole debate raged on.

I am finding that sometimes the pieces that I like the most - the ones that flow the easiest in the first stages - are the ones that are sometimes the hardest to finish.  It took me a while before I started to question why.  


I usually follow my impulses and intuition; however, there are times when that little nagging voice comes back to torment me!  Often, I will come to a point where I don't know what I want to do next, so I will sit and stare at my work imagining what the choices will look like or "air draw" it. 


But if I do this too long, that annoying little voice will creep in with its cynical opinion. And once the thinking starts - I'm done!  I have to walk away.  Progress will come to a halt.

I have learned, over the years, many ways to get around this, not that it always helps.

• Walking away and coming back for a fresh start sometimes helps, but then valuable time is lost.  
• Working on diminishing the value of the inner critic helps, but that's an on-going process that has proved to be more challenging than I thought.
• Even exercise works to bring me back to a "feel good" state, but that also takes valuable time away.  Of course, if it can do that while also being beneficial to your health, then it's worthwhile... I suppose - but, I'd rather be creating.

The bigger issue is, why don't I know what I want to do next?  Is it really that I don't know?Now I go through a little interrogation process to get to the bottom of it.  For me, it's usually one of four possibilities:

• I'm afraid that I will ruin it with the next step (as a recovering perfectionist, this is a constant struggle).
• I'm still getting caught up in what others will think.
• The initial feeling or vibe has shifted. I prefer to work in an expressive, abstract style, which can be a problem if you don't finish the concept in one sitting - what you were feeling may be gone when you get back to it.
• The debate over whether it's finished.

Sometimes it's a combination of the above.  I don't always need to get to the root of the issue, I just need to clear out all the clutter going on to get back in the creative zone.

This is where the Daily Doodle Journal is most helpful.  If I take 5-10 minutes to doodle or "scribble out" the clutter, I can get back on track.  

If I'm stressed or feeling anxious, the doodles/scribbles will look that way to me - and that's the point of taking the time to draw what you are feeling - it gets it out on paper.  It may seem over simplified, but getting it out on paper dissipates the emotion.  If you're worried about wasting paper on scribbles, try using newsprint sketch pads or see what you can find at the dollar store.  


Once you start doing this, personal symbols and different drawing styles will appear representing how you feel.  The goal is to do very quick drawings and continue to do pages until you feel the energy shift to a positive state (see below).

Sometimes you may get the urge to do a more detailed drawing in a style that is unfamiliar to you.  Don't fight the urge or judge it - just do it, even if it looks weird to you.  It's something that needs to be expressed and has a message that may or may not be understood at the moment.

The picture below shows my first two entries.  Repetitive horizontal and vertical lines, for me, are usually signs of frustration, indecision or stress.  The level of darkness of the line is the intensity of what I am feeling.

What I was feeling at the time was more about negativity that was going on around me.  I was starting to feel weighted down. Just writing "STOP" was enough to feel a little release.  In my next entry, there is still a similar look in the shape and symbol, but it is less chaotic and intense.

The energy shifted in the next entry with the "beet person".  There is still some downward symbolism in the roots/body, but there is also the balance on the upside with the leaves - this is a common theme for me. Adding the face for my own amusement, created a deeper shift to a positive state.  You can see, the lines are more curved, relaxed and flowing in the following entry.  Curved, meandering lines show up in my drawings when I am in a positive, receptive state.  It's important to note that the intent of this technique is not to create great art.  It's using art with a mind-body-spirit approach to work through creative blocks.

The next set shows the total shift.  The final drawing is a symbol of flow for me. There is balance up, down and across with an upward emphasis.  It looks different and felt different while drawing it.


This whole process works well because it is spontaneous and expressive - you allow your hand to be guided by your feelings or intuition - no thinking or deliberate action allowed.  


Usually, a few minutes is all that it takes, but if your are new to this, you may find yourself doing page after page.  I spent about about 10 minutes on these and was able to get back on track and get back to completing my doodle.  I know; all this for a doodle?


But here are the biggest benefits:  It is in this open, creative state, when the answers to your questions will flow freely without any effort.  In the beginning, it may take some time to reach that sub-conscious level, but once you are comfortable with being open and receptive, it will become automatic.  Best of all, as you progress, your style and technique will begin to transform and truly look like an expression of your creative inner spirit.


The simple doodle is the vehicle that will take you on your journey.


Happy Doodling!

From One Heart to Another

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I would like to express my appreciation and gratitude to those that have stopped by and taken the time to read my posts and leave a comment.  This blog has opened up a whole new world for me and has given me a new avenue for my creativity.  I consider myself very lucky.

My work is in the land of numbers - as far removed from creativity as you can get.  But I work for a company that I love, where I've been given opportunities to become involved in other activities utilizing my creative side.  For that, I am very grateful.  And I work with a group of people that I love, who are fun and anything but dull and boring.  So even though I am living in a black and white world by day, my days are very bright and happy.

My life at home changed dramatically several years ago.  My mother was seriously ill and I needed to move in to take care of her.  I lost my creative space and much of the time I could devote to art, but I have the peace of mind knowing that she is ok with me there to watch over her.  I still have her in my life and I thank God for that everyday.

My wish for you is a life full of creative adventures even when there just isn't that much time for yourself.  I wish you a path that is free of creative blocks and stress, but should they come your way, you will have the tools to work your way through them.

Creativity is the key that will open the door to all that is possible.  It needs to be developed and evolving.  It is the vehicle that will take you where you need to be.  I wish you a happy and fulfilling journey.

Happy Thanksgiving & Happy Doodling!





Confessions of A Recovering Perfectionist - Unfinished Work

In the spirit of my post, I am displaying the best of my unfinished work!  They deserve a little glory too!

Pattereeka, Goddess of Imperfection & The Incomplete

When I made Pattereeka, she was complete, but then she lost her
arms and broke her neck and I neglected to get around to fixing her.
I decided instead to dedicate her life to all things unfinished and imperfect.
With her asymmetrical breasts, missing arms and well endowed  backside,
she is perfect for her new life's purpose.


I grew up with the message "if you can't do something right, don't do it at all".  Is it any wonder that I became a perfectionist unable to finish my projects!

My hyper-critical eye was quick to spot the tiniest imperfection.  That line isn't perfectly straight, it isn't centered right, it's lopsided.  What started out as spontaneous and fun, ended up unfinished due to it's offending flaw.


Even back in high school, I was busy
perfecting all my projects.  This little
bowl actually started out as a large vase!
By the time I finished eliminating all the
flaws, it became a tiny dish!

I took great pride in making things perfect and would spend countless hours fixing or covering up all things imperfect.  It was my process!  But sometimes, my talent in perfecting the imperfect could not resurrect or repair my work and it would end up unfinished -abandoned.  Or worse yet, destroyed, never to have to be seen with its flaws again!

But after years of working that way, I just didn't have the time or desire any more to keep fixing things instead of creating things.  So I found other ways to channel my creativity.  Not much time would lapse
though before I had to get back to something that involved brushes, paints, pencils and paper.
 
The turning point came when I started feeling a sense of frustration each time "I had to fix something".  I didn't want to fix it, but I couldn't accept it either - self-doubt started to settle in. 


Waiting for attention...

As any true perfectionist, I had an extensive library of self-improvement books enabling me to get to the bottom of any problem I might have and banish it for good.  So, I thought...

I figured, now that I know how and why I was doing this, there was really no reason to continue this frustrating behavior, right?

The truth I found, was that I wasn't frustrated with my perfectionistic tendency, I was proud of it!  It was one of my best qualities - the willingness to become better at something - what could be wrong with that!

So, how do you get rid of or reform a sense of pride in creating and cultivating perfection.  That goal would turn out to be a life-long project!

Someone would comment, "your handwriting is so perfect - I've never seen such perfectly spaced handwriting".  Well, that just made my day!  I would just be beaming like a little 7-year old, who finally got a compliment from her critical teacher.  Someone recognized and appreciated my efforts! 

I started to have my doubts about whether this could be fixed.

I wanted to accept the mantra of "mistakes are happy accidents".   But, all I was thinking is, "are you kidding me, it's the end of the world for my project!".

Backgrounds interrupted

Avoidance became the way that I chose to deal with my conflict.  Being a creative soul, I would just find other ways to channel my creativity - and that worked for a while. 

I went through a long period of self-reflection and worked on self-acceptance, which really was the core issue, and the day finally came when all of that bottled-up creative energy couldn't be contained any more.  I may write about that another time.  I was faced with the questions, do you really want to live your life without the beauty of art and without a voice to express your vision?  Should something that you love so much, be so difficult?  Can you allow your intuition to be in control and to guide you on a new path, one without the expectation of perfection?  Or are you willing to remain the same?



I kind of like it the way it is, but....

I was finally ready to accept images that came from a deeper place and not question what it was supposed to be.  My artistic style changed dramatically and was far more natural looking to me. 

Of course, that didn't totally get rid of my desire to perfect or my concern about what others might think (which is a whole other topic).  What holds me back now, is that I will find that I like how a project is flowing and then come to a point where I'm worried that if I continue, I will do something to ruin it.  And if it's not that, I will come to a point where I feel that it is finished, but a nagging little voice keeps butting in saying it's not. It's always something!



Now What?

But my desire now to create what needs to be expressed as is, is far greater than my desire to create something perfect.  I create now what is fun and follow my intuition and natural impulses.  If it starts to feel like work or needs fixing, I stop, take a break or use my Daily Doodle Journal to work out what I am feeling.    And yes, I still end up with unfinished work, however, now I accept them as works ahead of their time.  There is a message or a lesson in each one that I need to understand.  And when it is revealed to me, they will be ready to complete, which is why I save them and refer back to them.  I no longer see them as rejects - they are messengers.

Hope you enjoyed seeing some of my unfinished work in all its glory!

Happy Doodling!

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